Monday, November 29, 2010

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

It's 11:00 pm.

I just finally closed the book I'm currently reading, intending to go to sleep.

But as I laid in bed, my mind started going off on all these thoughts. I'm not really sure where they came from.

I was thinking about the Little Guy and how we had a fun day today. About some of the funny things he's doing lately and how he was snuggled up with me tonight while we watched the football game.

All of a sudden, I was think that in a few years he's going to be going to school ... and then not too long after that he'll probably been a dorky, smelly junior higher ... and then just a few short years after that he's going to be in high school and have girlfriends that I'll probably hate and cool friends to hang out with ... and then he'll be grown up and be gone.

I just started thinking about how fast it all goes. I mean, I know it goes fast, but it just hit me. I pretty much almost started crying right there! I still feel kind of upset about it. Now I know how my mom felt when she used to say she wished she could put a brick on my head (although she would always clarify that she wouldn't actually want me to not grow up because then that would mean something was wrong, but still).

I've always tried to not wish away the day, or his current age (even when it's a bad day and it's really tempting). I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I try not to wish it away. But even though I've been trying to not wish away the days, it doesn't seem to make time move any slower and that just makes me hope I can savor every moment - because there will be no coming back to this time. He'll never be this age again. Pretty soon I won't get those cute sloppy kisses because he'll learn how to do it better. Pretty soon I won't have to read him his  books at night because he'll be able to do it himself (Okay, I'm totally making myself cry now!) Pretty soon his favorite words won't be "hi!" and "mama!"

They say that growing up is hard to do, but at what point are you grown up? I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten through the hardest part yet.

Okay, I think I'm off to tuck in my Little Guy and stare at him a little bit while he sleeps and then attempt going to bed again.


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