Today is my birthday. Hmmm.... not so sure how I feel about that this year. To be honest, I'm feeling a little old this time around. I'm 32 today and ... well ... I'm not just thirty anymore. I'm definitely into the thirties and I'm not too sure I like it. My oldest child is starting Kindergarten. Everything feels so strange.
I have had a very nice birthday... my parents had some family over for a get-together Saturday. Sunday we did a birthday/Mother's Day thing with my in-laws and tonight my parents took us to dinner and then my husband took us to ice cream after Malachi's soccer game. All very nice. I got some good gifts and I'm very blessed. But seriously... I think I'm getting old!
I have been doing a bit of deep thinking the past few months about life. Not really sure what has brought it on, but I have been thinking a lot about what's important in life and WHO is important. My family is - of course - at the top of that list. But what about friends?
I think I'm old enough now to see how some friendships come and go - how some people are a part of your life for a season and then are gone - and some seem to endure. I'm not really got me started thinking about this... I'm sure there was a certain relationship that initially got me started, but for whatever reason, it has continued. What I've really been thinking about is how to decide which relationships are the most important ones?
Honestly, as I get older and I'm spread thinner and thinner, I don't have time for everyone. I have "friends" in my MOPS group, Bible study, church, bunco, book club, old friends, cousins, etc.... my husband cannot keep track of all my "friends" and gets them all mixed up because there are "too many". But in reality, not all those people are real friends. Not all those people do I entrust with my heart. They are people I know.
One thing I have recently decided in my many musings is that I want to be friends with people who are authentic. I don't want to be friends with people who are afraid to show their real life and projecting an image of having it all together if they really don't. I'm not perfect and my life is not perfect. My kids are definitely not perfect. You might have it a little more together than I do and that's fine, but just be real about it. I have been carefully taking notice of those "friends" surrounding me and wanting to do "playdates" or "hang out". There are lots of nice people out there and I'm happy to hang out with anyone, but which people are authentic? Who is willing to show their real self? I hope I am one of those people.
I think that through blogging, social media and our culture in general, moms feel this need to show off their best side. We are always comparing our lives. I know people talk about this all the time, but it's true! We show all the good things we're "doing" (look at this awesome cake I just baked and perfectly decorated from Pinterest!), but it's much harder to show the messy bits. Not to say I need to know ALL the messy bits mind you. There is an appropriate limit, I think. =)
Anyway... as I'm look at this year - 32 - I'm trying to be intentional and authentic in my friendships, a mom who spends more time playing on the floor with my kids and less on the computer or in a book, and a wife who is supportive of her husband. Like I said, I'm not perfect. =)